Our losing battle with controlling time
And how accepting this leads to the start of our most fulfilling life
What would you say defines your relationship with time?⏳
I used to be hooked on finding the perfect productivity formula, and I would be lying if I said I no longer get excited at a practical tip showing me how to magically expand my hours. In fact, I will most likely share a few useful tips with you in the coming editions. And there is a lot of value in optimising our time. But here's the thing: when it becomes a relentless pursuit of efficiency, it often backfires, leaving us racing against the clock and generating more stress and anxiety. It turns out that life doesn't always fit neatly into our meticulously planned calendars - whaaaaaat?
On top of this, we get so focused on the details that we forget to zoom out and look at what we spend our time on and if we are doing it on the things that matter most to us. And all while assuming that we have ALL the time in the world and the perfect routine is just around the corner.
For me, understanding and accepting that my time and energy are limited have been game-changing. It might seem obvious, but for the longest time, I didn't grasp the concept, so I ended up living in neverending to-do lists. There was always a feeling of guilt lingering because it had been another day and I still hadn’t managed to finish everything I set myself to do. Needless to say, it turns out that my to-do lists were in no way realistic and no productivity tip was ever going to make me succeed.
When that became clear, I suddenly understood the true meaning of prioritisation. I’m still figuring this out in practice and I expect it to be a rollercoaster, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to “unsee” this truth (I might forget it from time to time, but I’m only human 😇).
Today’s resource is…
Why this podcast episode?
The episode is a discussion with author Oliver Burkeman about the main themes in his book Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals. The title of his book is a stark reality check of our average lifespan and it pushes us to accept our limited time on Earth in order to take ownership of our life. And if you really want a reality check, here’s what a 4000+ week life looks like as a table (I gave you a few extra weeks to soften the blow - you’re welcome🙃).
And to be completely honest, I chose this particular episode because it was relatively short, while covering some key highlights from the book - there are similar, but much longer episodes if you’re up for a 1-2 hour listen. But fear not, if you only have 20 min, today’s episode is a great summary.
What stuck with me
If you have even less than 20 minutes, these are my 3 favourite takeaways:
embracing our finitude is uncomfortable; being willing to face that discomfort and accept it leads you to build a meaningful life
focusing on efficiency often leads to busyness with less important tasks and more distractions; focus instead on what you are going to neglect, otherwise called strategic underachievement
what we pay attention to is what ultimately becomes our life 🤯
BURKEMAN: We talk about attention as a resource. People talk about it being a limited resource. I think it's a little bit of an understatement to call it a resource. It just sort of is your life, right? When you get to the end of your life, the sum total of all the things you paid attention to will have been your life. If there are some friendships there that you never actually paid any attention to, well, you didn't really have those friendships, right? I mean, if there was an interest that you had that you never actually spent any attention pursuing, well, you didn't really have that interest. So it really matters what we're paying attention to because it just is - it just adds up to a life. And that's why distraction is such a sort of serious problem - because, yeah, if you're paying attention to things that on some level you don't want to be paying attention to, you're just giving away the only precious thing you have - right? - which is the time of your life.
If you’re ready to embark on a thought spiral about your own relationship with time management, here is one of the five reflection questions proposed by Burkeman.
I’m curious, what came up for you? Leave a comment or let me know directly by replying to this email.
Until next time,
Diana
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P.S. If nothing else, be kind to yourself.
Wow, that 4000+ week life table really changed the way I think about my time! Thanks a bunch, Diana!